New Year, New Me Improve Your Wellbeing in The New Year!
Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Do you feel that time could better be spent doing something else or on someone else? I used to struggle with “Me-Time”, especially after going through a divorce and becoming a single parent. I remember when it was my daughter’s dad’s weekend to get them and my oldest would ask me, “Mommy, what are you doing this weekend the reason we have to go to daddy’s house?” I would then find things to do, although what I needed most was to rest and do absolutely nothing from a long week of work, their activities, and dealing with the cares of the world. However, I didn’t want to say that “mommy is going to rest”, until I experienced burnout and realized that it was healthier for them, and me, to tell them that I didn’t have plans and that it’s okay to not have anything to do so that I could get the rest that I needed and take care of things for me, so that when they returned, I’d be the rejuvenated mommy for them and could better run around the house and play or stay awake and watch a full movie or just be in a better mood.
I did eventually get better with support from friends, a therapist, and most importantly, prayer, asking God where the guilt developed from, the why, and how to better accept that it’s perfectly okay to take time for myself. As I went on this journey, here are 7 habits that has helped me and there are some that I am still working to develop:
Take a walk- Get outside and embrace the beauty of nature. According to NHS UK, a 10-minute daily walk is enough to boost your endorphins, improve your mood, reduce stress and lower anxiety.
Take a bath- I absolutely love my long bubble baths with a candle, glass of wine, bottle of water, and a good book or listen to a podcast! Let me add a few drops of my lavender essential oil in my bathwater, and I’ve created an oasis. Aromatic fragrances have been known to reduce stress. Having a bath can create the calm that you need for a good night’s restorative rest.
Prioritize sleep- Sleep is a massive part of our lives that is often taken for granted. Dr. Matthew Walker, author of “Why We Sleep,’ notes that we need at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep per night for our DNA to regenerate and between seven and nine hours of sleep for optimal and between seven and nine hours of sleep for optimal mental and physical health.
Clock-out- It’s time to take a break from social media, although I know that it allows you to stay updated on the latest news and connected to people you know, it can also have a negative impact on your mental health and the way you see yourself (no more comparing your journey with someone else’s). Whether it’s for a day, a week, or every now and then, take a break so that you can take that time to focus on you and to be present in your moments.
Practice mindfulness/journal- Take time to clear your head from the chaos and things going on around you by meditating and journaling. I do both daily. I meditate in the mornings and journal at night. Both of these have allowed me to have a better, more positive day, and rest at night. Both will allow you to have a more peaceful, calm day. There are many apps such as Calm and Headspace that are good for meditation. I also use Youtube.
Staycation- Earlier this year I decided to book me a hotel downtown and pack me a bag for the weekend for a staycation. I included a bottle of wine and wine glass, some candles, my Bluetooth speaker, bath salts, my journal, my tri-fold poster board, magazines, and everything I needed to create for the weekend. I had the most amazing time by myself! I decided to treat myself to dinner, scheduled a massage/facial, did a little retail therapy, ordered room service for breakfast, and slept in. It did my body, my mind, and my spirit some good! I went back home on that Monday feeling alive, revived, and ready for whatever was coming my way.
Learn to say “NO”- Now this was a challenge for me, but it has been so liberating! OMG…the best freedom I have experienced by far! It is one the hardest things to do to family and friends, that you know genuinely love and appreciate you, but you need to give that time and energy to yourself. You need to see yourself as a priority and reap the benefits valuing you as much as you do others!
There are more nuggets that I will be dropping throughout the new year, but I hope this is enough to get you thinking and get you started.
Cheers to a New You,
Dr. Shunte’ Howze
